Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
