I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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