We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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