You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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