just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
