i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
