I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we made out on top of his cat.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
