Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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