Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
