You made me cry and you don't even care
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
