I am in a vortex of obligation.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have aggressive nipples.
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