So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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