But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
