hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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