Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
