she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
