That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
why do cheetos always look like penises
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
