Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
