Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
These tits shall not be calmed
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
