I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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