weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
