The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
