As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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