I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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