That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
