So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
