Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
