so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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