Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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