is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
