My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
