Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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