he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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