we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
