she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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