She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
