oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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