I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
