I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize