you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
