you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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