in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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