If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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