wakey wakey hands off snakey
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
