I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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