I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
