Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
