My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
