There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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