dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
