That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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