If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
