the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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