hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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