Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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