I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
