I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
