Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
