there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
