anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
