he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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