I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
