don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
