he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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