Pappa wants mamma naked
He is an equal opportunity slut.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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