bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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