Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
